- No longer welcomed in the United States.
- Cabbage Patch Kids are plotting to seize my house.
- My dog is spreading rumors about me.
- Animal control keeps mistaking me for a rabid duck
- Busy Organizing protest against the Vietnam war.
- Terrorized by Antiadaephobia
- Being spied on by the Australian Government
- And what a fine Government they are!
- Not yet rated by MPAA
- Busy studying the art of manufacturing fake AARP membership cards.
- Books are reading me.
- My luguge is being stolen by Cyborgs from the distant future.
 |
|
- My keyboard keeps biting me.
- Being Haunted by the Ghosts of John F. Kennedy, and he's eating all my cereal.
- Decided to devote more time to my relationship with that toaster.
- Busy reaping the benefits of a AARP card.
- Building a great wall around my neighborhood to keep barbarian invaders out.
- Busy plotting my siege of Smurf Village
Somewhere in the world, a duck is watching me,
Brandon Montgomery
