Crisis averted.

Note: This is going to be my last humorous post for awhile, I want to start writing on serious topics again.
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Greetings, from an underground bunker!

Today is October the 22nd, and I predicted that the evil army of sentient snack foods would attack on the 20th.
Obviously, they did not.
But it was not a false prophecy, rather, YOU defeated the snack foods through the power of donating copious amounts of money to me! thank you very much.

Now let's give ourselves a big pat on the back for saving the world.

(pat)

Pure, unadulterated evil.

But you simply giving the money did not advert this crisis, rather your money encouraged me to physically fight the head of the uprising, an evil, sadistic being known as "Twinkie the Kid."
When I found the "Kid" he was hiding in an underground fallout shelter, guarded by a dozen Twinkie guards. He was just about to send out the order for the snack foods to rebel, But I stepped in and saved the day.
I, acting boldly and heroically, ate him and his guards.

You can thank me latter,

Prophet Anonymous