Things you didn't know about me

I've just realized that I say next to nothing about myself on the blog, despite having maintained it for almost two years, So I've decided to compile this list  .of basic facts about myself:

• Technically, Korean gangsters own my kidneys.
• I honestly believe that Mitt Romney is a PB&J sandwich in disguise. 
• I'm afraid of the word "conundrum" AH!
• I sometimes forget who I am and think that I'm a forty nine year old Siberian Post Officer. 
• I have an all consuming fear that I will one day morph into Bob Dylan.
• I think the times, they- Oh no, it's happening already!
• I think the GAP is hip.
• I still shop at Borders, despite it being out of business.
• I'm always confusing Elvis Presley with Che Guevara.
• I have Taylor Swift lyrics tattooed on my forearm. 
• I vacation in Naraya. 
•  For a brief amount of time in the early 20's, I worked as a Tobacconist.
• I own and operate my own haberdashery.
• I  live in Newark, East Virgina.
• I fought in the great Dakota civil war, in which the one unified Dakota was split into North and South.
• I have a triple platinum R&B record.
• I am Sparta.
• OK fine, the above is a lie. I'm Crete.
• My Full name Is Brandon Olgaholgaoflafienstina Montgomery.
• I think movies are real.
• I think the Easter Bunny is real.
• I think I write too many bullet list blogs.

Signed, 

Brandon Olgaholgaoflafienstina Montgomery.