My New Years Resolutions:

I'm setting lofty goals this year. My new years resolutions are:

• Gain weight
• Start drinking hard liquor (hourly.)
• Forget the languages I already speak
• Take up chain smoking
• Read less.
• Dispense more verbal abuse.
• Watch more Fox News.
• Think less.
• Be more condescending
• Dress like Larry the Cable Guy.
• Start using the computers at the library to play Farmvile. 
• Start having violent mood swings.

Happy New Year!