I just want freedom from these losers.

The Freedom From Religion Foundation launched an aggressive anti-religion ad campaign a couple years ago. Bill boards sprung up pronouncing the groups hatred for any and all gods. They are targeting Christianity and Islam specifically, and they have came up with ridiculous little phrases like "I don't need a god to be happy" (If you think the point of Christianity is to make you happy, you are gravely mistaken.)  And "There is no god, so stop worrying."

As ridiculous and child like as the organization has always been, they have somehow managed to reach a new brand of stupidity with their new ad they've truly plateaued:

Your a blogger, big whoop wanna fight about it?!

Do you have a blog? Well if you do I want to read it. (wanna fight about it?)
Just post a link to your blog in the comments section, and I'll Make a post about my favorite ones.

Deo tecum,
Brandon Montgomery

Thank You.

December has been a good month for the monkey House. As a matter of fact, more then half of all my traffic was generated in. December. and as December draws near it's close I wanted to say thank you.

I assure you that I will continue to update my blog in 2011. We've only got 31 post, but that's not that bad considering that they are all original and lengthy.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________


I owe every one the second part of the post on podcasting, as well as the third post about file sharing. I haven't forgotten about them, I just can't bring myself to write them right now.


Deo Tecum
Brandon Montgomery.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas from the Monkey House! may your Christmas be filled with (insert pun)

Glenn Beck steals from a dieing town. (Wilmington, Ohio)

The city of Wilmington Ohio has a population of 12,603 people. It is one hour from Dayton, one Hour from Columbus and one hour from Cincinnati. It’s only a twenty minute drive from my house.

Once upon a time, Wilmington was the DHL hub for the United States.

Once upon a time, in 1993 the movie adaption of the award winning play "Welcome to Yonkers" was filmed there.

Once upon a time, in 1995 Wilmington was named one of the 100 best towns in America (of its size.).

Once upon a time, in 1997 Time magazine said Wilmington was a great place for people to live.

  And then the town died. DHL had made the town and DHL killed the town,

Wilmington, Ohio

Michael Stipe's head

This is Michael Stipe's head:

and this is Venus:

They are about the same size.

Time Square ad.

Yes that's right, the Monkey House has a ad in Time Square!

(don't worry, we didn't break the bank.... we just bought it with your retirement money.)

1 John 2:10-29

He that saith he is in the light, and hateth his brother, is in darkness even until now.

 He that loveth his brother abideth in the light, and there is none occasion of stumbling in him.

 But he that hateth his brother is in darkness, and walketh in darkness, and knoweth not whither he goeth, because that darkness hath blinded his eyes.

 I write unto you, little children, because your sins are forgiven you for his name's sake.

 I write unto you, fathers, because ye have known him that is from the beginning. I write unto you, young men, because ye have overcome the wicked one. I write unto you, little children, because ye have known the Father.

 I have written unto you, fathers, because ye have known him that is from the beginning. I have written unto you, young men, because ye are strong, and the word of God abideth in you, and ye have overcome the wicked one.

 Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.

 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.

 And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.

 Little children, it is the last time: and as ye have heard that antichrist shall come, even now are there many antichrists; whereby we know that it is the last time.

 They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would no doubt have continued with us: but they went out, that they might be made manifest that they were not all of us.

 But ye have an unction from the Holy One, and ye know all things.

 I have not written unto you because ye know not the truth, but because ye know it, and that no lie is of the truth.

 Who is a liar but he that denieth that Jesus is the Christ? He is antichrist, that denieth the Father and the Son.

 Whosoever denieth the Son, the same hath not the Father: he that acknowledgeth the Son hath the Father also.

 Let that therefore abide in you, which ye have heard from the beginning. If that which ye have heard from the beginning shall remain in you, ye also shall continue in the Son, and in the Father.

 And this is the promise that he hath promised us, even eternal life.

 These things have I written unto you concerning them that seduce you.

 But the anointing which ye have received of him abideth in you, and ye need not that any man teach you: but as the same anointing teacheth you of all things, and is truth, and is no lie, and even as it hath taught you, ye shall abide in him.

 And now, little children, abide in him; that, when he shall appear, we may have confidence, and not be ashamed before him at his coming.

 If ye know that he is righteous, ye know that every one that doeth righteousness is born of him.

File sharing part 2: what happened to Limewire?

I said that I would have part two, "what happened to Limewire" up by Sunday. obviously, I am a day late.
Never the less, there are some new developments on the "Limewire case" which are much more interesting then the information that was available last week.

File Sharing Part one.

Do you remember when Napster was shut down by the RIAA years ago?

the same thing has happened to Limewire when it was effectively  shut down by a lawsuit on September 30 of this year. 

Limewire was viewed by most as the spiritual successor of Napster, and with Limewire gone and Napster operating on a  pay-per-song model some may have questions, such as where can I share files now? what happened to limewire?  is file sharing  ethical?  (according to logic.)
I will attempt to answer  these questions in this three part series on file sharing, starting  after the Jump

Mobile!

I just launched the mobile version of this blog, this should support all mobile devices, but has only been tested on ios.

the mobile website can be found at http://monkeyhouse.mobify.me/

You can also scan the QR code on the side of the blog to automatically be taken to the mobile version.

QR codes: Limewire.

Two more after the jump.

Election 2010

 Yes, it is election time once again. so the glorious Hum party urges (begs) you to elect Hum party members. none of these people are on the ballot, so you will have to write them in.

the following fine men, women and body parts are all running under the Hum banner this year

• Bosnegheck, the Croatian fry cook.
• the head of Richard Nixon
• (the robot formerly known as) Colonel Sanders.
• That woman that works at the BMV.
• Dave Ghrol's evil wisdom tooth. 

But we're not going to just to tell you to vote for them, we're going to show you their track record, so you can decide for yourself! (and of course, all these politicians are in favor of moving the capital of the United States to Hum, Croatia! 

Bosnegheck, the Croatian fry cook:

• Bosnegheck once listened to half of a Mozart song.
• Bosnegheck like Avocados.
• he almost graduated the second grade.
• Bosnegheck will create American jobs and cut taxes, perhaps.
• Bosnegheck  will create a bill that will stop filibusters, by allowing congressmen to hit one another with socks filled with Jell-o if they attempt a filibusterer.

How to: Podcast part one.

First things first, I have no business telling you how to produce and record a podcast. My podcast, for the year and  a half it existed, was released sporadicly, and had you listened, you would have had to wait months for me to release a new episode, and then get slammed with two hour long episodes a week. 

But for the most part, that was only towards the end of my podcast's life span, in the beginning I was doing about one show a week...but I was doing them completely wrong, and technical problems plagued me for the show's entirety.

But because I love(d) podcasting, I wanted to write a blog about the behind the scenes of podcasting, so if your interested in starting your own podcast, here it goes:

Mormonism - the Gospel of YOU.

  The Mormons are appearing in  the head lines a lot today, in part because of their new ad campaign "I'm a Mormon."  this campaign makes Mormon's look like fun, happy and hip people- pro surfers and bikers, among other things  rather then who they really are- selfish, power hungry  Arminian's on steroids, more on that latter.
  
  Also because every one's favorite nut case, Adol-er,Glenn Beck (yes, I have to mention him in every post or I get finned by the FNHL- the Fox News Hating  League.) has came out as a Mormon.  Many are wondering what exactly Mormonism is, and some Evangelifish, and even a few Reformed, are  saying that Mormonism "isn't really that different" and "it's the same Jesus." just so that they may keep Glenn Beck.  So in this post, I wish to show the Evangelifish the error of their statement. so let's dive into some man centered theology!

Small changes.

I've made some small changes to the blog:

• I made the side bar solid brown rather then transparent.
• I added a Abstract/grunge background, to replace the pre-made one I was using before.
• I added in my confession, catechism and denomination to a new box on the side bar.

9/11/2010

This isn't a blog, this is a rant:

The date of September 11th, 2001 will go down in history has a day of infamy. people mourned the lost of their family members, their friends, their fellow Americans, their fellow human beings.
on that day there was mourning, in America, in Mexico, in Canada, in all the western world.
but here we are, nine years latter, and where is the mourning? where is the remembrance? every one has forgotten, well almost every one.
People can no longer be bothered to think about it any more- cannot be bothered to think about any one who is not them selves.
today it is 9/11/2010 and people aren't remembering. rather, instead of remembering the fallen they have decided that purchasing a copy of the Qu'ran and burning it would be a better use of their time. on facebook I have seen posts from other people, other Calvinist even, talking about Qu'ran BBQ'S. for one thing, the United States was founded on Religious tollerence, they have every single constitutional right that any one else does, furthermore burning a Qu'ran accomplishes nothing. you mine as well burn a 20 dollar bill.

the Hum party.

These are the ideologies of the Hum party:, the Hum party hereby promises:

• The Hum party promises two sunsets per day. one pink and one lime green.
• The Hum party promises eternal life for every Moose in the state of  South Dakota.
• airlifting Washington DC to the state of Washington, for clarity. 
• Moving the capital of the USA to Hum, Croatia 
• To outlaw speaking English in the USA. 
• to declare Latin the official languge of New Jersey. 
•  to outlaw  firearms in the UK. 

Reformation Christians against TBN.

I have dealt with TBN in a previous post, so today I want to talk, briefly, about a Facebook group for Reformed Christians against tbn, Pentecostalism and etc.
if you've never heard of facebook groups (I envy you) it is:

John Calvin 501

Today is John Calvin's 501st birthday. I have made a crappy commemorative graphic in honor of this day.

also, from last year:

ifriend- the new Apple "Friend Bar" (parody)

Apple announced a spin off of their popular genius bar, entitled  "friend bar" for a one time fee
 people will be able to go into to  a Apple story and discuss Macs, iphones and ipods with paid, caring, Apple employees.
 poor, lonely customers who find sense of entitlement in their $1,000+ imacs will be able  to purchase one of three "lifetime ifriend subscriptions"  the isubscriptions are as follows:

The Gospel of Extortion.

Today I want to talk about the gospel of extortion and the prosperity gospel. all though they may appear differently they both feed on the same two emotions, they are both fake gospels and they both come from the same camp, with the same purpose.

the gospel of extortion (hereafter TGOE) is being sold under the much more palatable name of "the prosperity gospel" this is the gospel that promises if people send in a certain amount of money they will be healed of what ever disease or illness they are afflicted with.

some times the televangelist extorting will say something like "God is telling me that some where in the United States there is a woman who has been suffering with a bad back; if she will send me all of her money, every last cent, God blesses the big givers! her back will be healed, hallelujah amen." and so every woman with a bad back in the U.S thinks he's talking to her, and some of them send in the prescribed amount. and (obviously) and then eventually, one woman is going to call into the station, saying her back feels a little better already (it's called the placebo effect, her back pain will return momentarily.) this encourages hesitant women with back pain to give money, and eventually the placebo effect strike's a enthusiastic person once again, and so she calls in. by next week the televangelist can report that 200 women called in saying they had been healed thanks to him. thus fulling the fire for another fleece-a-thon.

We see this gospel preached every day on TBN. we hear it on the radio and we sometimes even see it in our mail. don't believe me?

you can buy Miracle spring water of off Pat Robertson.

a Catholic Church in California offers a healing crucifix via mail.

several people have went to Benny Hinn or Kathryn Kulman gatherings to find they couldn't be healed because the didn't donate enough money.

I mentioned before TGOE draws on two emotions, they are fear and desperation.

fear of what will become of them if they don't donate, desperation from being in illness for so long.

so then, why is TGOE so popular? one reason:

the simple and scary fact is, people will believe ANY ONE for the sole fact that they are on the screens of boxes placed through out their house. they think "well he must know what he's talking about since he has his own tv show." but the fact is, any one could with the money can buy 30 minutes with of airtime and use it to con people nation wide.

we don't just see this in Christianity, we also see it in politics.

just for a minute, I want to talk about Fox News.

Glen Beck tells people every week that their president is a communist, and that he is purposefully trying to undermine the country and the USD. he tells people not to pay taxes (to support this communists' regime) and not to fill out their 2010 census form.

eventually, he gets a handful of fear mongers to buy into to him.

and he tells them they can't trust the dollar any more. that they need to invest in GOLD conveniently, Glen Beck's sponsor is goldline, a company that sells gold over the phone/Internet. every week Glen Beck delivers tales of terror, followed by a solution: go to a tea party, buy gold (from goldline) arm yourself.

he's making fear-mongers and the uneducated feel important,he's making them feel like they are going to save their country. and so his fanbase buys the books, buys the gold, keeps the guns loaded. (after all, a census worker could strike at any time) Beck, Copeland, Hinn and the like are out to fleece the world, to steal from the poor and the uneducated and the sick. in either the name of God or the name of Country, in some cases both,

The most mind-blowing load of nonsense ever.

If I can only define reality from my experience, and you can only from yours. and (as far as I know) the sky is blue, and we agree the sky is blue, but what I know as blue you know as green, and what I know as green you know as blue, so we agree that the sky is blue. but for you, the sky is actually green and to me, it's actually blue.

so then, how do I know that, to you, I am not a cat? maybe what you define as "human" I define as "cat" but we verbally define it the same. even though we experience it in a deferent way.
of course that's all a load of non-sense. but it's mind blowing nonsense.

the Monkey House Study: My heart I offer to you...

I was in Grand Rapids, MI two days ago and I got the chance to tour Calvin College. I have posted enough about Calvin on facebook.(though It is excellent!) so I wanted to write about what I did after I visited Calvin. after I left Calvin I went to, with no appointment, Puritan Reformed Seminary, literally half a mile from Calvin College.

the dean of admissions (for the life of me, I can't remember his name) showed me a room, it was, he said, the only room of it's kind. it was a temperature controlled room, Painted white, with little furniture inside, packed with bookshelves lining the wall. every book seemed to be hundreds of years old. he explained that this was the largest collection of Original puritan writings in the world. most books where 400+ years old, some barely hanging on while others were near mint.

He showed me one book in particular that interested me the most. It was A Bible owned by Charles Spurgeon, the prince of preachers. it had is name written inside as well has some notes he wrote in the margins. after he died, it came into the possession of Aurthur W. Pink.

once again, it had hand written notes written by Pink. he said he had no idea how the seminary had obtained the book.

It was all very interesting.

"My heart I offer to you Lord, promptly and sincerely."

The Monkey house Door: Solomon's Portico

My friend Craig Chambers runs a blog on evangelism called "Solomon's Portico" it has some very useful and informative information on Evangelism.

unfortunately, it hasn't been updated since October '09, so if you could, please check out Craig's blog and encourage him to make a new post.

http://solomonsportico-craig.blogspot.com/