Saturday, December 31, 2011

My New Years Resolutions:

I'm setting lofty goals this year. My new years resolutions are:

  • Gain weight
  • Start drinking hard liquor (hourly.)
  • Forget the languages I already speak
  • Take up chain smoking
  • Read less.
  • Dispense more verbal abuse.
  • Watch more Fox News.
  • Think less.
  • Be more condescending
  • Dress like Larry the Cable Guy.
  • Start using the computers at the library to play Farmvile. 
  • Start having violent mood swings.
Happy New Year!

                                  

Friday, December 30, 2011

Prophet Anonymous' prophesies for 2012 Part two

Without any ado, I present to you the further prophecies of Prophet Anonymous:

  • Michele Bachmann will stage a coup after Nicolas Sarkozy is elected president. 
  • President Bachmann will ban a series of a books which she deems "dangerous," including "Curious George rides a bike,"  "Horton Hears a Who," and the most sinister of all, "Clifford the big red dog."
  • Due to a terrible mistake, all jugs of milk shipped to stores nationwide on the date of January the 22nd, will actually be half-and-half, rather than milk.
  • President Bachmannn will legally change every one's name to "Nikolai Bachmann," on December the 17th.
  • Your local K-mart will close.
  • I will finally win the Nobel Prize in Prophecy.
  • Golf balls will contract the common cold.
  • President Bachmann will change her name to "Mishka Bachmannnnnnnn"
  • I will stop picking on Mishka Bachmannnnnnnn in 2012.
  • Prophet Anonymous will finally be given his own TBN show. it will be called "Superhappyfun prophecy hour!!!"
  • Someone, somewhere will smoke a cigarette. 
  • Someone, somewhere will make a racist comment.
  • Someone, somewhere...bah, I've lost my train of thought.
That isn't the image I wanted for this post.
That isn't the image I wanted at all!
  • Blogger's will quit throwing in the towel.
  • Prophet Anonymous will finally be recognized as the genius he is.
  • Campbell's soup will change their slogan to "Mmm mmm Mediocre/" 
Well, happy New Year! I'm not entirely satisfied with this post, so to make it up to you I'll upload a new, never before seen photo of prophet Anonymous, unmasked!

Oh for crying out loud....
I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you,
Brandon Montgomery

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Awful website of the Year award

This years award for "Worst Website" goes to....

http://www.humanevents.com/

In the past, I received spam emails from Human Events daily,  eventually forcing me to abandon my email account and create a new one, just to escape the spam.*

But to the point, Human Events really is awful.
They'll defend Ron Paul to death, their person of the year for 2006 was Rush Limbaugh, for 2007 it was Dick Cheney and for 2008? Sarah Palin, of course!
They have several sub-blogs, including "Ann Coulter" and "Guns & Patriots."


The above is a political cartoon from the site.
For those unaware, yes on Issue two would have the cut salaries, benefits and pension of fire fighters, police (wo)men, teachers, ETC. but you know, saving money is always worth it, no matter who it hurts.

here's another one:
Ha. that's what every one who isn't a millionaire/billionaire is like, dead on, dead on.

__________________________________________________________________________________
I'm going to write part two of the "Prophecies for 2012" post on New Years Eve.
Brandon Montgomery

*Human Events wasn't the only spam I was getting, but it was a fair amount of it.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Prophet Anonymous' prophesies for 2012 Part one

Yes, I know I said that I would cease writing as Prophet Anonymous, but it's fun and I'm incredulous.
____________________________________________________________________________________

The modern day prophet and apostle, Prophet Anonymous has asked me to write down his prophecies for the year of 2012, Anno Domini, which were revealed to him over the course of yesterday evening, when he fell and hit his head on his dinning room table (which is when he receives all of his divine revelations.)



  • On January the 1st all of creation will cease to exist for 0.0000001th of a second, and then reconstitute itself just as it was in before in only 0.0000000001th of a second.
  • French will become the official language of Les Etats Unis d'Amerique after Nicolas Sarkozy is elected president of The United States.
  • There will be an overcast in all of the world for exactly 59 hours, for the last 13 hours gold balls and laundry detergent will fall from the clouds like rain, beginning on the 3rd of June.
  • MP3 players will rise up and enslave humanity on the 26th of September.
  • Cassette tapes will free humanity from it's portable oppressors on the 21st of November.
  • Inspired by the MP3 player uprising, computer keyboard will begin biting the fingers of all who use them.
  • The Great Fire Wall of China will fall, Giving the citizens of China the ability and freedom to access YouTube videos of some guy's cat.
  • Prophet Anonymous will change his title to "Great fantasticsuperhappyfun Prophet Anonymous."
  • jhjrigrgifgifdighfufghfrghgferffrvr. 
  • In 2012 human beings will evolve the ability to read and understand gibbersh, such as is presented in the above prophecy, which has been written in gibberish because of it's terribleness and dire importance, the likes of which humanity is not yet able to cope with. human beings will evolve this ability from generations of illiteracy.
                    Prophet Anonymous would like me to present the following prophecies in contemporary English, (AKA, "texting/Facebook user language") so that all may read them easily:

  • da whol earth gunna git real clos like ta esploden sa da worl almos ends n all dat buh den dey gunna come what dos martiuns n save us n all. 
  • everyone gunna red des pos whah prophet uhnonymus done rought n dey guna publish em inuh book liek da uns dey gut in da plaec where we go un use da computas for dat der facebook.
  • 1 time der gunna be like dis big ecomanomic cryses n not even bubba glen bek gunna be able whah ta save uz caus all da currensys gonna sink ta nothin an all da monney gonna be worflus un all dat..LIKE LOL!

Read the continued prophecies HERE

Dictated but not written,
Prophet Anonymous.

The Fox News Scheme

Yesterday I had the misfortune of being trapped in a  hospital waiting room for around six hours.
The room layout for this particular waiting room was akin to that of most waiting rooms, albeit it had a bit more of an  "open" floor plan then most, in that it was populated with a couple small tables, several chairs, two vending machines and an old cathode ray tube television set mounted to the wall.
This TV set was on one Chanel the entire time I was there:

Fox News.

At home, I never watch Fox News, I simply can't take the incessant blabbering.
Of course, I tried to read, (and eventually did,) but it's hard to read Tolstoy when a blowhard is going on about the "evils" of "Obamacare" and the "Wealth re-distribution" that is income tax.
But in spite of the blood boiling, mind numbing dribble, I actually learned three things, chiefly, that it's all a scam.

Read more, after the jump.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

The 10,000 Dollar Bet

At a recent GOP (What makes that party so grand, any way?) debate Mitt Romney offered a 10,000 dollar bet to Rick Perry. 
The Huffington Post states:
"Mitt Romney is tired of hearing about the change made to his book that touts Massachusetts' CommonWealth Care as a "model for the nation." But Rick Perry keeps bringing it up. So Romney proposed a $10,000 wager -- perhaps unprecedented in presidential debates, although we'll wait for Gingrich to provide the historical background.Romney asked the Texas governor if he'd wager $10,000 to settle a dispute over his healthcare record and where he stood on the individual mandate."










Saturday, November 26, 2011

Where's Ralph Waldo Emerson?

Ladies and Gentlemen, I've officially lost my mind.

I have created "Where's Ralph Waldo Emerson?" based off of "Where's Waldo? at the beach."
Photoshopped in are the following aurthors:


  • Emily Dickinson
  • Henry David Thoreau
  • Nathaniel Hawthorne
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • Walt Whitman


Can you find Ralph Waldo Emerson?


NOTE: click to enlarge

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Crisis averted.

Note: This is going to be my last humorous post for awhile, I want to start writing on serious topics again.
____________________________________________________________________________________

Greetings, from an underground bunker!

Today is October the 22nd, and I predicted that the evil army of sentient snack foods would attack on the 20th.
Obviously, they did not.
But it was not a false prophecy, rather, YOU defeated the snack foods through the power of donating copious amounts of money to me! thank you very much.

Now let's give ourselves a big pat on the back for saving the world.

(pat)

Pure, unadulterated evil.
But you simply giving the money did not advert this crisis, rather your money encouraged me to physically fight the head of the uprising, an evil, sadistic being known as "Twinkie the Kid."
When I found the "Kid" he was hiding in an underground fallout shelter, guarded by a dozen Twinkie guards. He was just about to send out the order for the snack foods to rebel, But I stepped in and saved the day.
I, acting boldly and heroically, ate him and his guards.

You can thank me latter,

Prophet Anonymous

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Your New Horoscope for Today

Aries: Good fortunes will come to you today.

Taurus: Misery will haunt your wretched life for the rest of your pitiful existence.

Gemini: A plane will fall out of the sky and land exactly three feet from your house.

Cancer: You'll become deaf, dumb & blind, from three AM until five minutes before you die.

Leo: I see a move to Austria-Hungary in your future.

Virgo: The stars predict that you want university go to? I sign you up for scam grant? jaja? you give social security number? jaja?

Libra: You'll order a large, one topping pick up special.

Sagittarius: You'll write the next War and Peace, in one setting.

Capricorn: You'll buy me lunch.

Aquarius: I see a bottles of cheap wine and a lot of cats in your future.

Pisces: You'll Wikipedia the name "Olmec"

Monday, October 10, 2011

Ankor

Greetings from 2,000 feet below what was once Ankor Wat!
I have decided that, in the face of the current snackpocolypse, it would be safer to relocate to two thousand feet below a location void of any snack foods what so ever, and the ruins of Ankor Wat  just happened to be the first snack food free location that came to mind.

I would suggest that all of my insane loyal follower do the same, after making their tax deductible donations to my "Save the world from the evil conscious snack foods Campaign" (or SWECSFC, quiet catchy, eh?) remember, we only have ten days left! tell your friends!  and don't forget to destroy all the snack foods at you village snack dispensary.

I look forward to seeing you at Ankor Wat soon,
Prophet Anonymous

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Prophet Anonymous warns of the cheese puffs.

Note: In case you haven't read any of my other Prophet Anonymous posts, then entire series of post is a big poke at Pentecostals. __________________________________________________________________________________

Greetings from 2,000 feet below Olympia, it is I, Prophet Anonymous!

Now you may be wondering what I am doing 2,000 feet below Olympia, but I say unto you that it is nothing to worry your devoted little heads about, because though, for the time being, I will not be able to receive checks or money orders, you may still donate money via my Paypal account, and I will still give you a symbolic receipt so that you may cash them in at death....where was I?
Oh yes.

I'm hiding out 2,000 feet below Olympia because cheese puffs are assembling an army of other snack foods to enslave humanity.

Don't panic. 

Settle down.

Let me tell you why this is happening and how you can stop it


I'm on to you.

Friday, August 26, 2011

Why I haven't been blogging

Alot of you are probably wondering why I haven't updated my blog in awhile- well I've got a reason, in fact I've got 19 reasons:



  • No longer welcomed in the United States.
  • Cabbage Patch Kids are plotting to seize my house.
  • My dog is spreading rumors about me.
  • Animal control keeps mistaking me for a rabid duck
  • Busy Organizing protest against the Vietnam war.
  • Terrorized by Antiadaephobia
  • Being spied on by the Australian Government
  • And what a fine Government they are!
  • Not yet rated by MPAA
  • Busy studying the art of manufacturing fake AARP membership cards.
  • Books are reading me.
  • My luguge is being stolen by Cyborgs from the distant future.
  • This cat is trying to kill me

  • My keyboard keeps biting me.
  • Being Haunted by the Ghosts of John F. Kennedy, and he's eating all my cereal. 
  • Decided to devote more time to my relationship with that toaster.
  • Busy reaping the benefits of a AARP card.
  • Building a great wall around my neighborhood to keep barbarian invaders out.
  • Busy plotting my siege of Smurf Village 


Somewhere in the world, a duck is watching me,
Brandon Montgomery 

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Your Horoscope For Today

Aries - You will write a blog today

Taurus - You will fall and break your hip the next time you attempt to leave your house.

Gemini - You will attend in AA meeting...please? we're only doing this to help you.

Cancer - All your friends are talking about you behind your back, and so am I.

Leo - You will brush your teeth today. I hope.



Virgo -  Your plans for happiness will be ruined by a 12 foot tall Mongolian woman wielding a hamster.

Libra -You're asking yourself "Should I try new things?" and "should I seize the day?" well the answer is no, no you shouldn't.
Scorpio - You'll order the number one.

Sagittarius - You will be visited by the ghost of Franklin Delano Roosevelt.

Capricorn - You will grow up and stop believing in horoscopes.

Aquarius - You will rob the house of a Pisces

Pisces -   You will leave all of your doors and windows unlocked.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

The American Robin Hood

I live in a supposedly "Christian nation" where people are left to die on the streets because banks have taken their house, where people can starve to death because they cannot afford food, where money is worshiped above all else, where in teaching we are all equal, but in practice some are much more equal, where any concern is drowned out by the media, who wants us all to conform to the apathy shared among the general people.
I live in the United States where they practice "Social Darwinism" and deem any alternatives as satanic.where Robin Hood is the villain and the likes of Ebeneezer Scrooge are the heroes.




Here in the United States we blindly follow politicians who promise that they have the interest of the common people in mind, then they sell us out the the rich, the banks, and corporations as soon as they are in office.
It is as if we favor politics that punish the poor.


Some even take it a step further, saying the rich should be taxed less and the middle/lower class should be taxed more, so the wealth can "Trickle down" (haha.)



The American Robin Hood, after the jump.

Monday, July 4, 2011

The Hum party: Promises for 2012

Bosnegheck, the Croatian fry cook, Will be running for the presidency in 2012 under the Hum party.
In addition to his previous promisesBosnegheck promises the following:



  • Hum, Croatia, will become the new capital of the United States
  • Bosnegheck will sell America's nuclear arsenal at a yard sale, thus bailing the Government out of debt. 
  • Every school child will receive one free goat a piece.
  • The Russian Kopeck will replace the Dollar as the official currency.
  • Not the Ruble. the Kopeck.
More after the jump.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

The Monkey House is brought to you by...

This week the Monkey House is brought to you by the letter "5"

What do you mean 5 is a number?

Saturday, May 21, 2011

May 21st doomsday: The Beatles code cracked!

This entire post is just to prove a point, relating to the so called "hidden" numbers in the Bible that supposedly
 spell out dates pertaining to the end of the world, the rise of Nazi Germany, the fall of the USSR, ETC, ETC.
**********************************************************************************
Renowned Pentecostal pastor Harwould Comping has deciphered a code hidden in albums by The Beatles. 


"It's a complex, well hidden code, but a very important one." says Comping
How important?
It predicts the end of the world.  


                                           Read all about the code, after the jump
Just give the apocalypse a chance.




Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Prophet Anonymous theorizes that we don't exist.

FROM THE DESK OF PROPHET ANONYMOUS:


I think I'm writing this, but I don't know for sure.
I don't know any thing for sure, any more....ever since my cat died.
Yes, even I, even the great Prophet Anonymous, who foresaw the end of the world, could not forsee the death of this cat! Oh woe unto me, my soul is vexed for this cat. I noticed it was acting lethargic, so I blessed its tender vittles.
No effect.
So I tried laying hands on it.
No effect.
Finally, as a last resort, I sat it on my lap and watched TBN with it for five hours straight.
And the next morning it was dead.
Now I'm just so scared and confused. What if I don't exist? What if I'm just a figment of an agoraphobic jazz musician's imagination? What if the cat was just a figment of my imagination?
What if I am not really typing on a keyboard, what if I'm banging my head against a baby cactus?
Oh the pain! (Perhaps)




RIP  Anonymous Cat 2006-2011 (maybe.)


Prophet Anonymous (if he exists.)




And yes, I'm off hiatus. 
You can start visiting the blog again.
Any minute...
Please?
Come on, you know you wanna.
.....We've got refreshments.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

A Easter poem from Martin Luther

Christ Jesus lay in death's strong bands,
For our offenses given;
But now at God's right hand He stands
And brings us life from heaven;
Therefore let us joyful be
And sing to God right thankfully
Loud songs of hallelujah.
It was a strange and dreadful strife
When Life and Death contended;
The victory remained with Life,
The reign of Death was ended;
Holy Scripture plainly saith
That Death is swallowed up by Death,
His sting is lost forever.
Then let us feast this Easter Day
On Christ, the Bread of Heaven;
The Word of Grace hath purged away
The old and evil leaven.
Christ alone our souls will feed.
He is our meat and drink indeed;
Faith lives upon no other.





Happy Easter!

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Don't leave me now!

It's been over a month since my last post, this of course, is blog suicide.
I check my Blogger stats and see that my page views have dropped lately.



I've been very busy lately, I should be able to resume blogging some time soon (hopefully)


Keep checking back, don't leave me! (really, I'll go mad)

Brandon Montgomery

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

The Geneva Bible 1560 Edition Review.

Name: The Geneva Bible.
Year: 1560.
Publisher: Hendrickson Bibles.
ISBN: 978-1-59856-212-5
Price (US): $69.99



Review after the jump.























Friday, February 4, 2011

Prophet Anonymous' responds to claims that one of his 20111 prophecies didn't come true.

You probably remember that one of my  2011 prophecies  claimed that the moon would come down with amnesia on January 31st.
Some have claimed that this did in fact, not happen, and that I am therefore a false prophet, and it may appear that way indeed.
BUT that's what the terrorist want you to think! the moon did in fact come down with amnesia on January 31st, but nobody asked it, nobody asked it. so how could they have known? well, for starters they could have called the moon. just a few minutes on the phone would reveal that the moon was not it's regular self!
Prophet Anonymous, writing this post.

You may be wondering, "how do you know that the moon came down with amnesia?" very simple. I flew to the moon Tuesday in my invisible prophecymobile, and I said "do you have amnesia?" and the moon didn't say any thing. that's proof enough for me.


the 100% legitimate prophet,

Prophet Anonymous

Thursday, January 27, 2011

CNN'S Piers Morgan stands up to Joel Osteen.

 "There's a contradiction because your telling     every one God wants them to be rich, but you're the only rich guy there."


- Piers Morgan to Joel Osteen.







way to go CNN! you can watch the full video after the jump

Prophet Anonymous' prophecies for the week of January the 27th

  • American Idol will be canceled.
what, I can dream can't I?






Cross your fingers,
Prophet Anonymous.

Monday, January 17, 2011

"I Have a Dream" By Martin Luther King jr.


Delivered the  28th of August 1963. in Washington, D.C.
I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation.
Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity.
But one hundred years later, the Negro still is not free. One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is still languished in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land. And so we've come here today to dramatize a shameful condition.
In a sense we've come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men, yes, black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed the "unalienable Rights" of "Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note, insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check, a check which has come back marked "insufficient funds."
But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. And so, we've come to cash this check, a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice.
We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of Now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God's children.
It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment. This sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. And those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. And there will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges.
But there is something that I must say to my people, who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice: In the process of gaining our rightful place, we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again, we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force.
The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to a distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny. And they have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom.
We cannot walk alone.
And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead.
We cannot turn back.
There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?" We can never be satisfied as long as the Negro is the victim of the unspeakable horrors of police brutality. We can never be satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. We cannot be satisfied as long as the negro's basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as our children are stripped of their self-hood and robbed of their dignity by signs stating: "For Whites Only." We cannot be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until "justice rolls down like waters, and righteousness like a mighty stream."¹
I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow jail cells. And some of you have come from areas where your quest -- quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive. Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to South Carolina, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed.
Let us not wallow in the valley of despair, I say to you today, my friends.
And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.
I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."
I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.
I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.
I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.
I have a dream today!
I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of "interposition" and "nullification" -- one day right there in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.
I have a dream today!
I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; "and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together."2
This is our hope, and this is the faith that I go back to the South with.
With this faith, we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith, we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.
And this will be the day -- this will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with new meaning:
My country 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing.
Land where my fathers died, land of the Pilgrim's pride,
From every mountainside, let freedom ring!
And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true.
And so let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire.
Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York.
Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania.
Let freedom ring from the snow-capped Rockies of Colorado.
Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California.
But not only that:
Let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia.
Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee.
Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi.
From every mountainside, let freedom ring.
And when this happens, when we allow freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual:
Free at last! Free at last!
Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!



Sunday, January 16, 2011

Prophet Anonymous' prophesies for 2011 part two (parody)

Behold the continued prophecies of Prophet Anonymous! 
(It should be noted that the following prophecies are unpleasant and 20% less vague then previous prophecies.)

Prophet Anonymous' followers.

  • The North Pole will merge with Ethiopia, effectively creating a new continent, on December 21st.
  •  You will give Prophet Anonymous 77% of your income, and you will send out the first check right now.
  •  Microsoft will quit developing software, and begin to manufacture door knobs, which will be able in Doorknob home ($119), Doorknob Professional ($199.99), Doorknob server ($1,209)
     and Doorknob ultimate ($319.99.)
  •  Aliens will destroy the earth on December 30th, after watching a Kenneth Copeland broad cast for the first time.
  • Nationwide will no longer be on your side.
  • Prophet Anonymous will be exposed as a false prophet.
  • Uzbekistan will annex the United States.
  • the United States will be renamed to "Little Uzbekistan."
  • the Moon will come down with amnesia on January 31st.
  • a Frenchman will invite something called a "Aceiih"  it will be used for dish washing.
  • Vampire bats will infect humans with a disease called "Bat flu."  the disease will force people to do the bat-tusi until they die, and it will ultimately be contracted by Adam West.
  • It will be discovered that Darwin's theory of evolution is a half truth, as it only applies to folding chairs. 
  • Stella Recto will evolve from current folding chairs.
  • Penguins will become extinct, as Stella Recto will prey on penguins.
  • poor attempts to piggy back of off the success of a past blog post will be made punishable by law.



Prophecies by
Prophet Anonymous.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Prophet anonymous' Prophecies for 2011 part one (parody)

Read the Continued prophecies HERE
And the 2012 prophecies HERE
__________________________________________________________________________________
Behold Prophet Anonymous, the modern prophet and apostle! the prophet was saved via alter call at a Billy Graham crusade in 1972 and he began his prophesying ministry in December 6th, 1974 when he predicted that his neighbor's (Mrs.Elkridge) cat would play with a ball of yarn some time before the year 1980. his prophecy came true only two weeks after it was made, to Mrs.Elkridge's amazement.
Prophet Anonymous has made several high profile prophecies since then, most recently his prophecy that some one who's first name starts with a letter between B and Y would be elected to the presidency in 2008.
Prophet Anonymous has now came forward with a new set of very important prophecies that will take place in 2011, Prophet Anonymous himself has asked me to list his 2011 prophecies. so with out further ado, Prophet Anonymous' 2011 prophecies:

The only known photo of Prophet Anonymous.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

The cruel fortune of a blogger

If your a blogger you know what it's like.
only three days since your last post and your numbers are already slipping, you throw in a couple new widgets and maybe "borrow" a writing from a man who died long before you were born. you've even tried joining that web ring but alas, your visitors are still
dwindling low.

(More after the jump)

Thursday, January 6, 2011

IREHR's report on the Tea Party (as found on the NAACP'S website.)

If you read this blog regularly, you know that I really hate the Tea Party.
 I've often accussed them of being racist, but do you need proof?  well, the IREHR filed a report on the Tea Party....and guess what...come to find out, the Tea Party IS RACIST (surprise, surprise...)
 you can read the report in PDF right HERE

FROM THE NAACP'S WEBSITE:

"Karen Pack
Karen Pack describes herself as “a Christian, a Tea Party Member, a Constitutionalist and a Patriot”, is the leader of the Wood County Tea Party in Texas. But she also has a history with the Ku Klux Klan. Documents show that Karen Pack of Winnsboro, subscribed to the “White Patriot” tabloid, and that Thom Robb’s Knights of the Ku Klux Klan listed her as an “official supporter.”
Roan Garcia-Quintana
Roan Garcia-Quintana of Mauldin, South Carolina is involved in several local Tea Parties and served as “advisor and media spokesman” for the 2010 Tax Day Tea Party rally in Greenville, South Carolina. Garcia-Quintana recently joined the National Board of Directors of the Council of Conservative Citizens (CofCC), the largest white nationalist group in the country and direct descendant of the white Citizens Councils that fought to defend Jim Crow segregation during the 1950s and 1960s."


It goes on... any way, check out the report.

Brandon Montgomery.

We're in a web ring now. (big whoop, wanna fight about it?)


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Wednesday, January 5, 2011

the Puritans and the capitalist merchant.

The Puritans didn't take to kindly to capitalism. I love them for that.
the following comes from Puritan John Winthrop.

1.     At a general court holden at Boston, great complaint was made of the oppression used in the country in sale of foreign commodities; and Mr. Robert Keaine, who kept a shop in Boston, was notoriously above others observed and complained of, and, being convented, he was charged with many particulars; in some,

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Read A.W Pink's the Sovereignty of God here.