(It should be noted that the following prophecies are unpleasant and 20% less vague then previous prophecies.)
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| Prophet Anonymous' followers. |
- The North Pole will merge with Ethiopia, effectively creating a new continent, on December 21st.
- You will give Prophet Anonymous 77% of your income, and you will send out the first check right now.
- Microsoft will quit developing software, and begin to manufacture door knobs, which will be able in Doorknob home ($119), Doorknob Professional ($199.99), Doorknob server ($1,209)
and Doorknob ultimate ($319.99.)
- Aliens will destroy the earth on December 30th, after watching a Kenneth Copeland broad cast for the first time.
- Nationwide will no longer be on your side.
- Prophet Anonymous will be exposed as a false prophet.
- Uzbekistan will annex the United States.
- the United States will be renamed to "Little Uzbekistan."
- the Moon will come down with amnesia on January 31st.
- a Frenchman will invite something called a "Aceiih" it will be used for dish washing.
- Vampire bats will infect humans with a disease called "Bat flu." the disease will force people to do the bat-tusi until they die, and it will ultimately be contracted by Adam West.
- It will be discovered that Darwin's theory of evolution is a half truth, as it only applies to folding chairs.
- Stella Recto will evolve from current folding chairs.
- Penguins will become extinct, as Stella Recto will prey on penguins.
- poor attempts to piggy back of off the success of a past blog post will be made punishable by law.
Prophecies by
Prophet Anonymous.
