Post card

Greetings from fabulous Midland City!

I have a new substantial post formulated, I've just got to actually set down and write it, which I will soon.
Or maybe not.

If you don't keep visiting, Glenn Beck wins.
Brandon Olgaholgaoflafienstina Montgomery

Things you didn't know about me

I've just realized that I say next to nothing about myself on the blog, despite having maintained it for almost two years, So I've decided to compile this list  .of basic facts about myself:

• Technically, Korean gangsters own my kidneys.
• I honestly believe that Mitt Romney is a PB&J sandwich in disguise. 
• I'm afraid of the word "conundrum" AH!
• I sometimes forget who I am and think that I'm a forty nine year old Siberian Post Officer. 
• I have an all consuming fear that I will one day morph into Bob Dylan.
• I think the times, they- Oh no, it's happening already!
• I think the GAP is hip.
• I still shop at Borders, despite it being out of business.
• I'm always confusing Elvis Presley with Che Guevara.
• I have Taylor Swift lyrics tattooed on my forearm. 
• I vacation in Naraya. 
•  For a brief amount of time in the early 20's, I worked as a Tobacconist.
• I own and operate my own haberdashery.
• I  live in Newark, East Virgina.
• I fought in the great Dakota civil war, in which the one unified Dakota was split into North and South.
• I have a triple platinum R&B record.
• I am Sparta.
• OK fine, the above is a lie. I'm Crete.
• My Full name Is Brandon Olgaholgaoflafienstina Montgomery.
• I think movies are real.
• I think the Easter Bunny is real.
• I think I write too many bullet list blogs.

Signed, 

Brandon Olgaholgaoflafienstina Montgomery.

I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition.

Well, I didn't expect the Spanish inquisition

Prophet Anonymous gets a record contract Update: Album Cover Art Revealed

Read about Prophet Anonymous' record contract

I photo shopped The cover art for Prophet Anonymous' albums has been released

Original Story:

FROM THE DESK OF PROPHET ANONYMOUS: Prophet Anonymous, the "World Wide Widow Fleecing Machine" has signed a record deal with Leffen Records - The (former) home of Suns and Moses, Mirvana, and many other Rock bands with slightly altered names.
According to the contract, three records shall be made, and after the three records are made the contract may be renewed, according to sales figures (so buy the albums, at your nearest Charismatic bookstore!)
Thanks to the Prophets amazing work ethic, he has already recording two of the three records.
One is a music record, titled "Prophet Anonymous Under Cover"  It is a cover album, including:
 "You Never Give Me Your Money," "Money" and more! (Track list and cover art to be revealed.)



The other is a ground breaking, genre creating record, entitled "Prophet Anonymous - Live!" It is the world's first stand up prophecy record. BUT WAIT - THERE'S MORE! not only is it a Stand Up Prophecy album - it's also a Double album! disc one is prophecy and disc two is music. what kind of music? Pentecostal Rock, of course! it's two albums for the price of four!  It's the kind of new, bold, fresh, avant garde prophecies the TBN crowed has been dying for! the track list is as follows:
                   Disc One (Prophecy)

1. It's The End of the World as Everyone Knows it
2. The War Between Israel and Russia - for some reason
3. Stock Market Crash Fever
4. Let's all declare War on an Obscure Country
5. Alien Invasion 
6. Write that Check!

           Disc Two (songs)

1. I Blame Obama
2. Tongues
3. Complaining on Facebook
4. Back in My Day
5. My Hero (Charles Finney)
6. Be mine, Ann Gram Lotz

More details in the days to come.

Available on March the 16th, wherever Reliant K records are sold. 

Prophet Anonymous Gets a record contract

Read the Updated post, with album art, HERE
__________________________________________________________________________________
FROM THE DESK OF PROPHET ANONYMOUS: Prophet Anonymous, the "World Wide Widow Fleecing Machine" has signed a record deal with Leffen Records - The (former) home of Suns and Moses, Mirvana, and many other Rock bands with slightly altered names.
According to the contract, three records shall be made, and after the three records are made the contract may be renewed, according to sales figures (so buy the albums, at your nearest Charismatic bookstore!)
Thanks to the Prophets amazing work ethic, he has already recording two of the three records.
One is a music record, titled "Prophet Anonymous Under Cover"  It is a cover album, including:
 "You Never Give Me Your Money," "Money" and more! (Track list and cover art to be revealed.)

"I'm moving in on the Youth Groups!"

The other is a ground breaking, genre creating record, entitled "Prophet Anonymous - Live!" It is the world's first stand up prophecy record. BUT WAIT - THERE'S MORE! not only is it a Stand Up Prophecy album - it's also a Double album! disc one is prophecy and disc two is music. what kind of music? Pentecostal Rock, of course! it's two albums for the price of four!  It's the kind of new, bold, fresh, avant garde prophecies the TBN crowed has been dying for! the track list is as follows:
                   Disc One (Prophecy)

1. It's The End of the World as Everyone Knows it
2. The War Between Israel and Russia - for some reason
3. Stock Market Crash Fever
4. Let's all declare War on an Obscure Country
5. Alien Invasion 
6. Write that Check!

           Disc Two (songs)

1. I Blame Obama
2. Tongues
3. Complaining on Facebook
4. Back in My Day
5. My Hero (Charles Finney)
6. Be mine, Ann Gram Lotz

More details in the days to come.

Available on March the 16th, wherever Reliant K is sold. 

"La Directeur" By T.S Eliot - English Translation

I was reading a book of poems by T.S Eliot and came across the poem "La Directeur" a poem written in French, and, out of curiosity, decided to translate it into English.
Having finished my translation, I decided to post it here.
Why?
"If you build it they will come...by that I mean accidentally find your link on google" (That's how the line was scripted, but the last part was edited out after filming, true story.)
__________________________________________________________________________________
                                 

                                                                  The Director 

                                                    by

                                                   T.S Eliot 

                                                                         (translated into English.)

                                                                          The Director

 Misfortune at 

The unhappy Thames

That beats its breast

So near (to the) audience

The Director

The Conservative

The audience 

Smells of the breeze

The Shareholders

Reactionaries

The audience 

The Conservative

 Arm on arm

        Makes rounds

   No wolf

         In a sewer

    A small girl

   In rags

   Comrade

    The Director

        The audience

            The conservative

                 And craving love.

__________________________________________________________________________________

If you find any errors, please tell me in the comments.

You might be bored if....

Yes, another bullet list blog. eventually I'll come up with some thing worth while.
But honestly, one could spend  their whole day writing a descent post, but no one would read it. So why bother?
____________________________________________________________________________________
You might be bored if....

• You're writing a bullet list blog.
• You're telling rumors to your dog.
• You're reading pamphlets for auto insurance.
• You're writing pamphlets for auto insurance, but you're a construction worker. 
• You're painting Campbell's soup cans.
• You're reading Ibsen
• You're writing out sentences in French, just to read them back to yourself.
• You're using "The Secret" to will away New Age self help books.
• You're reading this. You poor fool!
• You're preparing for the inevitable war with the penguins.
• You go to the hospital to have a painful, unnecessary knee removement surgery. 
• You're reciting Transcendentalist poetry to the person on the other side of the Direct TV help hotline.
• You're teaching your cat Swahili.
• You're attempting to make a Twinkie ex pisces et pan. il sera aussi bon que du bon pain.
• You wrote a line in parts of three different languages. 
• You're carrying around a flintlock pistol, and challenging veil fiends to a duel.