Bosnegheck, the Croatian fry cook, Will be running for the presidency in 2012 under the Hum party. In addition to his previous promises, Bosnegheck promises the following:
Hum, Croatia, will become the new capital of the United States
Bosnegheck will sell America's nuclear arsenal at a yard sale, thus bailing the Government out of debt.
Every school child will receive one free goat a piece.
The Russian Kopeck will replace the Dollar as the official currency.
Not the Ruble. the Kopeck.
More after the jump.
Bosnegheck will provide two sunsets per day, via detonating a large amount of explosives near every single town in the United States.
Democracy and freedom of speech will be abolished..
The 4th of July will be moved to the 5th of November.
The federal government will seize Razor and Tie records to prevent the release of those awful Kidz Bop albums.
Bosnegheck vows a long, costly war with Nebraska.
Bosnegheck will bow to his corporate masters.
Bosnegheck will name Ben Gleck Secretary of State.
Bosnegheck will levy excessive taxes on the poor and give massive tax breaks to the rich.
Bosnegheck promises Oppression, despair and inequality.
Bosnegheck promises a 2nd great depression.
Bosnegheck promises to alienate the United State's most important allies.
If you vote for him, he'll be your best friend.
Bosnegheck will send your grandmother into exile.
When he is released from prison he will track you down and thank you. unless you didn't vote for him.
If you do not vote for him, your front lawn will become your town's "artificial sunset manufacturing center"
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